Flowers NOT .com

I cannot be the only one who is sick of spending $100+ to send flowers to someone only to have them text a “thank you” pic of the shittiest, smallest bouquet imaginable. Did the florist not hear my request:  absolutely no baby’s breath or carnations??? Flower shops are seemingly worse than airlines these days with their hidden fees and costs. “Oh you wanted water in that vase? That’s an extra $20!”   A few weekends ago a very dear friend of mine endured a traumatic incident with her 15-month-old son. While baby boy was ultimately fine, mama will take years (if not a lifetime), to recover from the PTSD. My first thought was to send flowers, but that was immediately followed by my second thought, which was that they could never look as good as a bouquet I assembled myself (at least I have no self-esteem issues). And since she lives only 15 minutes away and I’m on maternity leave with a baby who loves to fall asleep in the car, I figured why the eff not.  I grabbed a vase, a ribbon, and scissors and drove straight to Trader Joe’s. The local manager had previously confirmed that their flower deliveries come in the morning, but check with your TJ’s and make sure you have fresh pickings.
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Be creative.  Think of fun color combos, though sometimes less is for sure more.
 Nothing wrong with fresh hydrangeas. I have them on my kitchen table practically year-round.
I grabbed 2 bouquets of hydrangeas (one white, one blue) and some “fillers” and was on my way to the parking lot to assemble.
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 Nothing screams “unbalanced” like a woman in Lulus chopping flowers in the Crystal Cove Trader Joe’s parking lot at 8 a.m. while her baby cries in the stroller.  I wish I had a tee that said “I’m on Maternity Leave.” I want everyone to know I am not that Orange County housewife.
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Threw that sh*t together, poured some bottled water in the vase and then we gots to go!!!!
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Oh, this ole’ bouquet????  Pretty sure it’s 1,000 times better than anything I could have bought on and it probably didn’t even cost as much as the delivery fee I would have otherwise paid.
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Here’s some more inspo from other bouquets I’ve put together for less than $20:
NBD, right ya’ll????????